Verse 1, 2 In the first two verses of this chapter faithfulness is enjoined, confirming by it's position, it's importance. If we read Proverbs 5:1-5, all of Proverbs chapter 7 and Song of Solomon 8:6, we can better understand it's position of importance. God's laws are for our protection and to bring us an abundant life. Much like the laws we set down for our children: Don't play with fire. Unfaithfulness leads to deep feelings of jealousy, anger, betrayal, bitterness, unforgiveness and distrust. None of which, leads to the kind of lives we would want for our children. Unfaithfulness also brings, upon the perpetrator, feelings of shame, disgust, self-hatred and even sickness and disease. God wants us to live happily, trusting one another. Trust is vital in the process of holding a marriage together.

Their are two verses in Proverbs, 6:34, 35, that describe a man's jealousy as the rage of a man who will not spare in the days of vengeance. He will not regard any ransom, or rest content, even though given many gifts. Rage in the dictionary is described as insanity, uncontrolled anger, raving, fury, great force, violence and intensity. Will not spare(show mercy)in the day of vengeance (punishment, retribution with a great force or fury). Regard in the dictionary is defined as consider, observe, pay heed. Any Ransom (return of property, payment for damages) though you give him many gifts (presents or bribes)[pleas, appeals, excuses]. Trust is defined: firm belief or confidence in ones honesty, integrity, reliability and justice. Loyalty.

Verse 3-5 Oblige and give to our husbands their conjugal rights. Sounds like something out of the Victorian Age, but conspicuously, this verse follows the command of faithfulness. The Holy Spirit telling us not to put our husbands in a position of temptation and thereby cause him to sin. Eve gave Adam forbidden fruit and we deny Eve contributed to Adam's sin but she did. And we all agree Adam had his part also, he could have said, no, but this doesn't make women less responsible. Putting a husband in the way of temptation will still have the same result, sin. Verse 4 is the Holy Spirit telling us that we are never to refuse our husbands. Moods and headaches are not justifiable excuses. We aren't to use sex to get our own way. Our bodies are their privilege just as their bodies are our privilege. It is not some reward to contend for or something to be withheld as punishment. (Heb.13:4). God is trying to teach us the wisdom to know that we require that connection, that closeness. Without it we become two people, separate, each going his/her own way. We become insensitive and indifferent. Do not defraud (deprive) one another.

Verse 10-16 We aren't to leave our husbands. If they're unbelievers then they must have been unbelievers when we married them, so nothing has changed except, possibly, us. This is especially true if we've become believers since our wedding. What kind of witness's would we be if we leave them "after" we become saved? See "Consecrated Marriage". If your father disapproved years ago and you decided to marry anyway, the Lord may have sanctified your marriage because of your children. Do not assume God wishes you to endure. See "How To Know God's Will". If an unbelieving husband departs we are not bound by our vows. God gave us two avenues of escape from disastrous marriages that were never meant to take place: fornication (Matt.19:9) and the husband's leaving by his own choice. If God didn't sanctify the marriage, then, through a woman's prayers, God can put it on the unbelieving husband to leave. We are commanded not to leave our husbands. If we are in a very bad relationship it is up to us to change it, endure it or seek the Lord's will and permission before giving up on it. Needless to say if both partners are believers (there's a big difference between someone who says, "Oh, yeah, I believe in God" and a true believer who walks with God everyday) they are bound by their vows! Soooo, work it out!

In verse 15 we are called to peace. This is how husbands come to Christ, by our attitude and example, not our words but our behavior. (1 Peter:3:1). We talk all the time and before we are saved, of course, we gossip, scream, yell, rag, & nag. We are never silent. In the cradle girl babies coo and aah trying to make word sounds and boy babies grunt and groan just to make noise. Boys like noise sounds: varoom, slam, bang, pop. There are certain attributes that even time can't alter. Anyway, as I said, we are never quiet and I assure you men notice this. When we start walking with the Lord He begins to teach us to be silent. No ragging, gossiping or yelling because God does not look upon this favorably. Our sudden silence must be shocking for our husbands. Where, in the past, we would get aggressive if he did, or if he put on a show of violence we'd start yelling too, or when he got angry we'd nag even more. Suddenly we've become silent even in the face of his anger and aggression. And instead of nagging and crying when faced with adversity and serious problems we've learned to "Be still and know". (Ps.46:10). Husbands may not ask but they are wondering where this stillness is coming from and find it very desirable and restful. Note: The depth of our calm shows the depth of our trust in God.

".....else were your children unclean but now they are holy (pure). Meaning that it only takes one believer in the home to raise a child up in the Lord. Two unbelievers raise ungodly children (unclean) but just one believing parent will cause them to be pure (Holy; saved). In other words, the Holy Spirit is saying that through our belief in God we bring the purity of Godliness to our home and will take a stand for our children's purity before the Lord. We bring the Holy Spirit into our relationship with our family and we all become sanctified (purified, consecrated). Consecrated meaning dedicate or bless. Purified, see Hebrews 9:11-15; 1 John 3:3.

Verse 17 We are to walk where God calls us to walk. God may call us to endure a relationship for our spiritual growth in love, long suffering, faith and self-control. Or for the spiritual growth of others, parents, children, husband, brothers, sisters, church families or the world. If God calls us to be mothers or wives, he has a plan to be fulfilled in our lives and the lives of others, which will carry its reward for obedience and a crown on completion. (Luke 6:20-36; 1 Peter 5:4).

Verse 18-20 Paraphrased: if any woman is called being married let her remain so; if called unmarried stay unmarried. The custom, either way, isn't as important as keeping the commandments.

Verse 20-24 Paraphrased: If, when we are called, we are wives and don't like doing a wife's duties; and Christ frees us from the law, we are to use our liberty to express our service to Christ by doing our duty well. In other words, if we don't like cleaning for our husband do it instead for the Lord. And if it's difficult to serve a man, don't. We are bought with a price, Christ's blood and are not servants to men anyway. We are Christ's servants and no longer bound. But if we were wives when Christ called us, then we are to remain wives, wives to Christ. Instead of feeling like an unappreciated drudge, remember who it is we are cooking, cleaning and housekeeping for, Christ, the one who asked it of us.

Verse 25-27 There is no command of the Lord for virgins marrying. I, Paul, personally am of the opinion, since the Lord in his mercy keeps me faithful, that it's a necessity for the present and good to remain a virgin. If you are unmarried don't seek to be married. And if you're married don't seek to be unmarried. In other words, don't actively try to change our bodies present sexual state.

Verse 28-35 If we marry we haven't sinned but we will have troubles in the flesh. Young brides desperately try to please their husbands at, almost, any price. Some give up their own friends and interests. If the marriage isn't going as she planned (the great romance) she is disappointed and disillusioned. Since we are made up of emotions, they can dictate our day by day outlook on our lives. We can be kept in emotional shambles for long periods of time. We also react to those emotions in the flesh. Crying, depression, anger, frustration and then we behave foolishly, recklessly and rashly. If we remain unmarried we keep our eyes on the Lord and follow Him. We aren't in a position to be emotionally bombarded since the Lord gives us inner peace when He is the focus of our lives.

Couples argue over children, money, personality differences, where the furniture should be placed, etc., things of the world. When it's just us (unmarried) and the Lord there isn't anyone else to consult and God isn't too concerned with where you want the furniture. We become only concerned with the spiritual part of our lives. "I tell you this for our benefit, not to entrap you but so you can attend (serve diligently) the Lord without distraction."

Verse 36-38 Paraphrased: If you think you've behaved dishonorably toward an unmarried maiden and she's old enough and requires marriage, do what is right. Marriage isn't a sin so let them marry. Whoever gives her in marriage does a good thing but he that refuses to let her marry does even better. The wife is bound by marriage as long as her husband is alive; but if he dies she is free to marry again but only a believer. She'll be happier, as I understand it, if she remains unmarried and I think I speak by the Holy Spirit.

We are not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. When you married were you both believers? You were equally yoked. If you were a believer and married an unbeliever you were unequally yoked. If you both were unbelievers the you were equally yoked. (1 Cor. 6:14).

"Come one! Come all! To the marriage of the King's Son. All are invited, we know some of you will refuse the invitation but the feast is laid out and we, the servants, have been sent with the invitations," and so the servants shouted through the cities, "everything's ready, come to the marriage!" The powerful noblemen, stubborn intellectuals, high-minded judges, the proud, the priests, Sadducees, Pharisees and rich land owners treated them with scorn and contempt. Deriding and jeering at them and after treating them shamefully, killed them. Then walked away, laughing, "The King has no son!"

When the King heard of it he was furious and sent his armies to destroy the murderers and burn their cities. Then the King said, "The wedding is ready but those I invited were not worthy, so go, go into the highways and bring as many guests as you can find. The well, the whole, those who do good, the diseased, the derelict, the ashamed and the anguished." And so the wedding was furnished with guests. The King saw a man skulking among his guests wearing the *contaminated garment of unbelief (one of those responsible for the deaths of his servants), the uniform of his enemy and said to him, "Friend, why are you here wearing that cloth?" And the man was without excuse, he had every chance and had made his choice, so the King ordered the man bound and thrown into outer darkness.___Matt.22:2-14.

Let us be glad and rejoice and give honor to Him; for the marriage of the Lamb is come and His wife has made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white; for the fine linen is the righteousness of the saints. And he saith unto me, "Write, blessed are they who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb." And He said to me, "These are the true sayings of God." Rev. 19:7-9.

*Hebrew meaning for defiled, contaminated, those who worship other Gods. "..cast them away like unclean clothe." Isaiah 30:22. "Nor defile yourselves with idols" Ezek.20:18. "We all know deep in our hearts and from nature that there is a God so any who deny Him will be "without excuse". Ro.1:19-32.

Credits: The Victorian Brides, gold bells, and doves are courtesy of Anne's Place. The Swans, the one silver and gold bells with blue ribbon are courtesy of Embee's.(Embee's is no longer on the Net. The background and scroll are courtesy of the Proverbs Women. The angels holding up the scroll are courtesy of Angel Kisses. The Prayer hands button and the picture of Christ on His throne are courtesy of Carols Graphics. All the Bride Buttons are courtesy of Flamin Florals. And the golden gates on the invitation are courtesy of Nessa's. My thanks to all of you for making this page possible.

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Created: June 2000