THE LEARNING YEARS Children are not too young to learn Duet.31:12 In the early 1900's children were "to be seen and not heard", we've advance along way...we drug them now to keep them quiet and still. The astounding percentage I last saw quoted on the Web was 85% of America's grade school children have been diagnosed as having ADHD. What is ADHD? Psychologists claim there are two types of ADHD, one being, "inattentive and fidgety", while the worst and second condition is "hyperactivity and implusiveness". I'm shocked at the stupidity of our scholars. A recent brain wave study determined all children under age of TWENTY years old are impulsive because the part of their brain that rationalizes isn't fully developed yet. ADHD in it's worst form is a description of a normal child with too much sugar in the blood stream. Or in desperate need of corporal punishment. Our normal children are being drugged at a rate of 85% so they're easier for parents and teachers to control. Psychologists claim that "children out of control" have ADHD, actually, what they have is LOAD (Lack Of Adequate Discipline). Some parents let their offspring have their own way from birth and then can't figure out why they're dealing with temper tantrums and fits (where a child actually has to be held down, so they won't hurt themselves). Parents who drug their children say, "..but I just can't deal with them if they aren't on medication." It isn't the child's fault if a parent prefers other roles besides raising their children and now the children are out of control. BRAIN WAVE STUDY: They've proven that infants still in the womb can hear their mothers voice, music, and slamming doors. And, as infants and toddlers, must be mentally stimulated to fully develop several skills. They had a White House Conference on this study, recommending that Day Cares, teachers and other people or services dealing with OUR children be informed of their findings so THEY can see to it that children not sufficiently stimulated (What about drugs and ADHD?) at home can be stimulated in these other environments. You should be aware that the bottom line is, the government will soon say it's mandatory for our toddlers to be placed in head start programs because YOU can not be trusted to raise healthy, stimulated children, but only damaged, mal-ajusted human beings that you cannot control. (This, after telling you your child needs to be on drugs, you shouldn't say NO to them and never discipline.). The information is on the net at several addresses: White House Conference on new brain wave study and Starting Smart Infants and Time Magazine also did an article titled Feritle Minds in their February 3, 1997 Vol 149 No 5 issue. Under "Special Report". (Starting Smart and Whitehouse conference Brain Wave study have both been removed from the Net or put behind passwords, I have searched diligently for them but to no avail, sorry). I cannot fathom how people became so incredibly duped into believing that their normal, all be it, spoiled, rambunctious, child, has an Attention Deficient Hypertensive Disorder? Do parents realize that this is on the child's school records? Deficient: incomplete, defective, inadequate. It's just unbelievable that 85% of our children are being given drugs at lunch time in our schools. And what happens when they don't get their drug in middles school? All that pent-up, suppressed, emotion comes out with a bang? The child now has an anger problem so now stronger drugs are introduced? Some teachers are telling every parent their child is ADHD because the child won't sit still and yet psychologists have said, "Time Out" should only be 2 minutes for a 2 year old, 5 minutes for a 5 year old and so on, because they are incapable of remembering why they were put into time out in the first place after that amount of time. What does that tell you about a six or eight year old? And yet these same children with "no attention span" or the attention span of a knat, have to be drugged to PAY ATTENTION? I'm an adult and if I were drugged I don't think I'd learn too much and I doubt very much I'd be paying attention to anything. No wonder they can't teach our children, all the children are in a drugged state. Some teachers are not interested in normalcy but in achieving quiet and stillness. Many make no secret of that fact. "I'm just a hired babysitter", I've actually heard teachers say that and I'm not the only one. These teachers are obviously incapable of dealing with our children's exuberance and natural love of life. Too many of our teachers are not suited to teach. It takes innovation and a child-like approach to life. For example: Since children cannot be still incorporate this into the learning environment. Have them march around the room while reciting their ABC's. Do adding and subtracting to the rhythm of jumping jacks. It's much easier to control 30 happy, excited children than it is to control 30 bored, restless, drugged children. One of my grand daughters (15 months old) went on a week-end visit with her parents to see the other side of the family. They don't get to see her often and, of course, they held her, gave into her every whim and generally spoiled her for two days. When Mom and Dad got her home she was absolutely impossible. She wanted to be held constantly, when she asked for something it was to be delivered, now, preferably on a silver platter. Unfortunately, from her point of view, she discovered Mom and Dad were a different type of pasta all together. It took about a week for her to get the point. It doesn't take long, at all, to spoil a child. The family just wanted to hold her, love on her, play with her, etc. because they hadn't been able to and immediately the child decides this is going to be a permanent arrangement. "If I can have undivided attention for a weekend I can have it forever." Hyperactivity, Ha! They should've had my son. He ran before he could crawl and had a hard time locating doorways. He always hit the doorjamb running full bore, which caused him to have an award winning egg right in the center of his forehead. And, yes, I worried he was going to cause himself real damage but football head-gear works great for this. I don't ever remember one single moment when he was totally still before he reached his teens. He could sit still but then his mouth had to be moving, talk, talk. Even to himself or a leg shaking or he was squirming. I fell into bed nights absolutely exhausted but never would I have dreamed of medicating him. He laughed as much as he moved and I would never want to stop that total enjoyment for living. He would have to give it up soon enough. I had a teacher call me to school to discuss his lack of stillness and silence. "He cannot be still and when I tell him to be quiet he doesn't mind me." I asked, "Do you ask him to do both at the same time?" Her reply was, yes. I then told her she must allow him to wiggle his foot and that would keep him basically quiet and relatively still. It worked but I'm surprised the foot didn't fall off from over use by the time he left grade school. He also had a "nervous grin". When someone got mad at him he would grin, this too proved to be a slight problem. The only reason I knew what it was is his father has the same grin. It's remarkable how many of his teachers wanted to "wipe that smile off his face". Don't misunderstand me, he was a well disciplined, well behaved, intelligent and happy child which all his teachers would agree on. He was just very high spirited and on the move. Then there was our second son. He was quieter and could actually sit still which you might think is good. Not so, his mind was constantly in motion. "How do I get out of this?" or "How can I get my own way?" And his favorite pass time was sitting back watching the fights he manipulated between his older siblings. At age nine he and his cousin were following the grand parents German Shepherd through the woods and under-brush to find the lay of the land without getting lost; jumping off our mobile home roof into a pool they'd built out of wood and lined with canvas; making go carts out of giant wooden spools and pushing them to the top of our 700 foot winding downhill driveway; jumping their bikes over huge ramps they'd built; building forts up in tall trees. My all time favorite story about this son is the time I picked him up from school and when he put his feet into my pickup I saw dozens of straight pins, sticking point up, out of his tennis shoes. I asked him why he had straight pins in his shoes? "Oh, there's a kid at school who's always kicking and hitting me. I warned him to stop but he wouldn't." I know my mouth dropped open at this point and I asked where he had gotten such an idea. His reply was he just thought it up, but it took him a couple of weeks. I must have had a shocked look on my face because he then says to me, "Well, what was I suppose to do, Mom, let him kick me all the time, he won't kick me again!" I just didn't know what to say at this point and as soon as we arrived home I called his father and told him about the pins in our sons shoes. He roared with laughter. However, I had not yet seen the amusing side of this and said to my husband, "Do you realize he sat down and thought this out, how to get revenge? Is that normal?" My husband replied, "Yes, he comes by it naturally. My older brother was like that." Not satisfied with this answer, I asked, "Well shouldn't I punish him or something? He sent that other child home to his mother looking like a pin cushion!" Laughing again, my husband said, "The other boy started it and our son took care of the problem, it won't happen again. Quit worrying." I'm not one to be detoured, so I took my son aside and had a little talk with him about this type of behavior but I gather the entire school got the message, "Mess with Bet, Live to Regret". They all knew he'd sit around thinking up their demise. I was worried he'd turn out to be a mass murderer or something. He turned out quite normal. Has a full time job and is raising his own family now. Wonder what he'll do when his son pulls a stunt like this, I can't wait to see. And, oh, yes, his son is very much like him. My point here is that these are normal children. As my grandfather used to say full of "piss and vinegar", not a nice quote, but a true one non-the-less. I was constantly on the run picking up after my boys, seeing to it they didn't hurt themselves or others and that they weren't sticking hair pins in light sockets. But I'd do it all again before I'd drug them and turn them into Zombies. I had a lot of fun too, watching their antics. And my heart swelled as I watched my baby boys grow into men. How they grew taller and filled out and became the kind of men a mother could be proud of and knowing it was my obedience to the Lord, hard work, discipline and love that created these to masterpieces. Teaching young locomotives isn't easy but nothing of value is easy. One of my grandson's teachers told my daughter that he had a learning disability because she couldn't teach him to read. I asked my daughter to bring him out to the house so I could test him. I am not a certified teacher but I am a mother and grandmother and raising children has been my entire life. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me find why my grandson could not read. Within 2 hours he became a reader. His mother and I discovered he didn't know how to pronounce vowels in words. I merely showed him what I was taught at his age, "The second vowel makes the first vowel sound, a long sound". My grandson, upon arriving home, showed his dad, his uncle, his aunt and his sisters that he could read. He was so excited and happy. He ran around reading for everyone for days. This took all of 2 hours (mostly to find where the problem was) so why was his teacher having such a problem? Isn't this her job, to teach him to read? Some of these teachers are so quick to say our children are handicapped, why? They'd rather baby-sit than teach? Or they don't know how to teach? Trying to teach without a students respect is a pointless endeavor. And we can't get their respect without discipline. All of my grandchildren know that obedience is a requirement and not a request even while they are at school. When they are unruly the parents are called and the problem is dealt with swiftly. Children are to be obedient and in subjection. Eph.6:1,4; Col.3:20,21; 1Tim.3:4,12; Titus 1:6. Children are taught respect it doesn't just happen automatically. They need to be taught that if the babysitter has a hard time, if the school calls or the neighbors call (with true and legitimate complaints) Mom and Dad will mete out justice swiftly. (Prov.19:18). There are ALWAYS consequences for our actions and no one, other than Jesus Christ, will pay those consequences for us. When the children grow up they will have to face this truth when it's too late to help them. (Unless, of course, they are raised to know that all along). It is so important that we remember we are teaching. We are not trying to bend them to our will or force them into servant-hood but rather molding and shaping them to know right from wrong. If we just punish them all the time with "because I said so", we are not teaching. Giving them full, complete details on why we are taking this action is mandatory. Without the explanation they make up their own interpretation! "She just punishes me when she's in a bad mood!", "I didn't do anything wrong and got punished for nothing", "She's just mean and doesn't really love me", "When I tried to put the hair pin in the plug she jerked me away so I couldn't find out how it works, so I'll try again later", "They light matches all the time, I don't see why I can't, they just don't want me to have any fun". It is endless what they can make up to fit the scenario. We should also answer their unasked questions. My husband and I had a loud and angry fight one night after the children had gone to bed. Right afterward I went to check on them and found them sitting up in their beds all wide-eyed looking questions at me. Obviously they had heard us arguing. I could have pretended nothing happened and left my young children to make up their own interpretation which would have been one or more of the following: They hate each other. Dad might kill Mom. Think they'll get 'vorced? What will happen to us? We'll have to live with strangers. Mom might run over dad with the car. Because of my own childhood I knew that would be a mistake so it went more like this: "Listen, guys, everyone you love you fight with and I suppose it's because we want to change them into better people. You guys fight all day long. Did you think grownups didn't? Even grandma and grandpa fight, it's no big deal. We'll make up just like you guys do. Now, go to sleep." In the years following this conversation every time my children saw or heard us fighting they just shrugged their shoulders and went about their business. Their fights were no big deal so neither were Mom and dads. As a matter of fact the older they got the more they would guffaw at us to the point where we'd ask them to leave us alone and let us finish our argument. They weren't the least afraid or nervous and my husband and I were extremely loud and aggressive types when we argued. We'd frighten the neighbors but not our children. They knew us, I made sure they knew and understood both their father and I. Our tempers, our mistakes, our intentions and our undying love for them at all times. Our job, along with teaching, is to protect, help and comfort our young. To be a place of refuge and safety for them just as God is our refuge and place of safety. (Prov.14:26; Ps.4:8). Our young children should trust us with their problems. We need to recognize that, although some of their problems are trivial, to them these are huge, insurmountable, serious troubles. When I was in the second grade I was trying to hang a picture on my bedroom wall with a needle. I managed to shove the needle completely through one of my fingers and the thing that I remember most is what I was thinking. I was trying to decide whether or not to go to one of my parents for help, in my young mind I must have believed the help was scarce, because I decided to handle it on my own. Even now when I think back I realize that my parents were never a place of refuge or safety and I grew up handling most of my problems without help from adults. (My parents may well have been a place of safety and refuge but I didn't see it and therefore it was of no help to me). It is a very hard beginning and a very heavy burden for a small child. Needless to say it was important that my children know I was their safe haven and I was always there for them and I made certain they had a happy carefree childhood. They played, I carried the burdens. If they got hurt, I fixed it, kissed it and made it better and they went off to play. If they had a huge problem, I helped them put it into perspective and sent them off to play. They faced the consequences of their actions like true children of God. And, yes, thanks to the Holy Spirit, I am a blessed mother. I followed His lead and we raised great children. There are no words to tell you how important it was, to me, to raise happy, spiritually and mentally healthy children. I cried out to the Lord for His help even before I became a Christian and He honored my desire, it was His desire too. I can easily sing praises to the Lord knowing how He blessed me, how He taught me, how He led me to be the best mother I could be and in turn I taught my children that it was the Lord raising them not me, I shared everything He taught me with my children and still do. I'm no super Mom but I serve an Awesome God. Good communication skills need to be taught now. When they reach their teens they no longer learn from their parents. After all, as teens, "they already know it all" what could you possibly add? Have "Gab Sessions" at least a couple times a month. Sit on the floor with them. Serve popcorn and juice. Turn the music on low rock and roll or something upbeat. You start the ball rolling..."What shall we talk about?" School, friends, each other, Mom and Dad, the best movie we ever saw? Usually they'll all start talking at once. If they don't..."Well, I'm not in school but when I was..." explain how you really felt about school and why. Talk about your school friends, your favorite music, movies, books. By this time they should be at least asking questions but if they aren't try..."I always wanted to be a good Mom, someone you could trust. Does your silence mean I've failed at this?" If they still aren't responding tell them the condensed story of your life and then let them go play. (First you have to share before you can expect them to). After a few times of this they'll get the hang of it. Do not hold them there for long in the beginning, soon you'll find they want to be there and you will be trying to get away. Remember during these sessions you are their peer and not their parent. Do not loose your cool or get angry. Be relaxed and joke around. If they blurt out something they did wrong you simply make it part of the discussion. By the time my children were teens we were discussing sex, drugs and everything else openly, even in front of their friends whose mouths were usually hanging open. They'd never dream of telling their parents the intimate details of their day. "I tried a cigarette today Mom. They're pretty gross." I mentioned that during these sessions you are their peer and not their parent. The truth is they never loose sight of the fact that you are their parent but they feel more relaxed when they know you are not in that role at the moment. However, as soon as the Gab Session ends, they must recognize that you are now Mom, again. My children used to beg for these sessions they just loved it. Chores are detested by most young children because chores cut into their play time and/or because their best is never good enough. Remember their attention span is only the length of a television commercial. When trying to get them to clean their room try one thing at a time; "make your bed"; "pick up your toys". When you say "clean your room" the children see an overwhelming job too large for them to undertake. They will either not try at all or make only a half-hearted attempt. We loose our patience but this won't make the job any less daunting for them. And, of course, they won't clean the room and make the bed the way we do. Even some of our adult friends won't do it the way we do it. And we've had a lot more practice than our children. When you enlist their help with household chores don't rag and nag. Treat them like friends who just dropped by to help out. Keeping in mind they are learning. A mother of wisdom is justified by her children. (Matt.11:19). Children are like olive plants (Ps.128:3) and need care. There are wild olive plants, not selectively bred, and they tend to be stunted, rigid and thorny. While cultivated (cared for) olive plants grow tall and are full of branches, very decorative, generally fertilized by the wind. (figuratively branches=generations and wind=Holy Spirit). Fifty percent of the flowers usually fall off and of the other fifty percent only 10-20 percent grow into ripe olives. For a tree to produce good fruit it must be grafted (Romans 11:16-24). Trees not grafted produce poor fruit. Olives are harvested by shaking and beating and beating the branches of the tree. An olive tree requires care or it will bear hardly any fruit. It grows slow and can grow to a great age. In Biblical times towers were erected in groves and orchards to keep wild animals and thieves at a distance (Isa.5:1-3; Lk.14:28-30; Ps.18:1,2). Care requires good rich soil (a good foundation Ps.18:2; Lk 6:48; 2 Tim.2:19). Lack of light (John 1:4) will virtually cause it to stop growing. Aren't we giving our children the impression that riches are more important than our children? (Prov.28:20). Don't we sacrifice them in service to money, wealth and riches (Ps. 106:38)? Don't our children come home to empty, vacant, hollow homes? What happened to coming home to the smell of cooking, warmth, light, laughter and songs from Mom's radio? Our children leave school knowing there is no reason to rush home, nothing awaits them. It used to be they couldn't wait to get home to taste the cookies, tell Mom about their day and grab the nearest phone to call the friends they just left. Whom the parents serves the child will serve. Whether, Satan or God. It is handed down from generation to generation. (2 Kings 17:41). Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is OLD he will not depart from it. (Prov.22:6). "Grandchildren are a crown to old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. (Prov.17:6). See also: Psalms 127:3-5. Mathew 18:1-14 The Liberated Women Pa-leeeeeezzzz do not take gifs from this page but visit the sites below and leave them a message in their guestbooks while you are there. Thank you so much for your understanding and courtesy. Credits: Background Set was made by me and there are more of our backgrounds at Proverbs Women's Backgrounds. The blue fish, seashell, treasure chest, mermaid, pastel picture of fish and the ocean scene came from Sea of Gifs. The red starfish, aqua starfish, red crab and the jelly fish are courtesy of Ocean Graphics, no longer on the Web. I found the gold seahorse, pearl bubbles, stingray, yellow fish, and the black striped fish at Little Fishes Under the Sea, no longer on the Web. The Proverbs Women would love to have check out their backgrounds. Some are animated and all the artists are beginners, let them know how they are doing by leaving them a message in my guestbook. Thanks. Jewelry Stores © Pondering Profound Concepts Created: June 2000