WELCOME TO MATRICIDE/PATRICIDE and CAIN & ABEL
I am so glad you came by. I hope your eye balls don't fall out before you read the entire page but I'm learning how to create my own art and if it looks good I save it before I mess it up. No matter what color it is. Lord only knows what the rest of my pages will look like!

?Ponder Why is Matricide/Patricide becoming so common in todays society?

Past generations of "well-to-do" families turned their offspring over to "Nannies", nurses and/or teachers. The infants were given into the care of a Nanny who had only the children of one household to nurture. In many cases the Nanny loved them as though they were her own and the Nanny often took the place of "Mom" in the children's hearts. When the children were old enough to require tutoring a teacher was added to the household. Often times affection developed between the children and the teacher who lived with them. If a Nanny was harsh and unloving the children still had a Mom, Dad, teacher & household staff, at least one person in the household would give the children affection, training and emotional sustenance (law of averages). Those who couldn't afford such luxuries took care of their own children with little or no outside influences. The parents, grand parents, aunts & uncles believed in well behaved children, that discipline was needed to insure that process. It was the children's family that hired teachers for the local school house. This, of course, insured that the teachers were qualified and would not abuse their power over the children.

Today many mothers and fathers both work, some actually turn their infants over to "day care centers" where, hopefully, the infants physical needs are met. However, it is extremely unlikely that anyone is nurturing that baby. Those running day care centers are working too and they've got their hands full with several other children. Trying to nurture someone else's baby in that environment can't be easy even allowing for the best of intentions. If there is more than one infant the females will drift toward the "favorite", even as they do among toddlers. My baby could be the one physically cared for but otherwise untouched by loving hands all day long. At the end of the day I would be too exhausted to do more than meet the child's physical needs myself. After a little hugging and loving the child would have to be set aside in order for me to do chores and get dinner, etc. I would be as much of a stranger to my child, if not more so, than the woman who watches him/her all day.

Toddler's in a day care are expected to interact with other children for up to or exceeding 8 hours a day. Possibly hit by older children whenever the day Mom's not looking? Again, the day Mom has her favorite and what if it's not my child? What if the day Mom says mine is her favorite? Wouldn't she tell all of the mothers that? Would she tell me that simply because she is defending herself for feeling just the opposite?

A very close and dear friend of mine, Lisa, worked in a day care and quit because she couldn't bear 'seeing the little ones' in such an environment.

All the workers in the day care had favorites. There was one little boy who was larger than the rest and "looked older" but was actually the same age as most of the other children in his age group. However, because of his size more was expected of him.

They have scheduling (with that many children it would be necessary)and one mother brings her toddler in and explains that the little girl needs a nap because she is over tired. After the mother leaves the little girl can't go to bed because it isn't in the schedule, she has to wait for nap time. The over tired little girl will be cranky and hard to manage.

The day care children were always sick with colds. Probably due to the children passing the germ back and forth and being run down from the stress of day care living.

Some children are too little to defend themselves from the older kids. And where is the loving influence to help in this situation? The child is left to defend him/herself. There's no Mom to "kiss it" and make it better.

Some day care providers don't like some of the children in their care. They aren't abusive but their personalities clash or the child is too spoiled, too hard to handle, etc. And all children know when they are disliked.

Lisa has never sought another position in a day care center. It wasn't cruelty, there wasn't any. It was the hopelessness and lack of nurturing in the environment. The day to day expectations placed on these little ones who are not equipped to handle them. A day care center is not a mother or father and will never have the love and concern you do for your own child.

Genesis 4:1-15

Is this sibling rivalry gone awry?

The youngest child is always more spoiled than the other children in the family. The older children know it and resent it. The older children usually feel the younger child is loved the most. (The story of Joseph is another excellent example of sibling rivalry and can be found in Genesis chapter 30). "Honesty is always the best policy" with children. Tell them the truth: "I spoil the youngest because he/she is my last baby & we aren't having any more, so I'm hanging onto this last one for dear life. He/She will always be the last baby, just be glad it isn't you".

I tried to control this, as I'm sure many mothers do, but it was like instinctive, like it was built in or something. Mothers are aware that this is harmful for the youngest for many reasons and will try hard not to be swayed by their emotions but it won't change the fact that the youngest is spoiled. Telling the truth to the older children will stop them from assuming that we love the youngest more or better and will quell some of the anger, resentment and jealousy.

Siblings always fight and argue, there's nothing wrong with that, however, they should never be allowed to hit, bite or kick each other. Bickering is one thing but violence, even on small scale (one toddler hitting another, for example) is simply unacceptable behavior.

Cain went so far as to kill his little brother because of all his repressed anger and jealousy. He didn't understand that his parents loved him too. And because of his anger and jealousy couldn't even see that his little brother looked up to him and loved him. To actually kill his brother, to me, signifies his parents had not made it clear that violence will never solve a single issue but will simply create more difficult ones. How can I know that his parents failed to teach them correctly? It's obvious, usually to everyone except the parents. Not to mention I've raised children and the Bible shows us if we but look closely at what we are reading. Cain and Abel were not an exception but rather the example.

?Ponder: If there were no other people populating the earth why did God agree to place a mark on Cain? Genesis 4:14. Did God say He didn't create other people? Adam and Eve were first and were thrown out of Eden in Chapter 3 of Genesis and Chapter 4 begins with the birth of Cain and Abel. Reading this in 'context' it goes from their birth to 'murder' and then to the Cainite civilization. People assume, there weren't any others created because God didn't mention them but why would he, isn't the story about Adam and Eve and Christ's lineage? Why toss in people unrelated to the story? Interesting, No?

NEVRHas loads of bars on his site, these were made by me.
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Created: April 2000